You Never Know

You never know the impact you are going to have on someone’s life.

And sometimes, you may never know. You may never learn how much you touched their life. How much even one interaction changed someone for the better.

But then sometimes, you find out.

Sometimes you learn that the smallest thing you did had a huge impact.

When the world has beaten you down, more like when Satan has tried to beat you down and distract you from the gifts and talents God has given you. Just when you think your life should take a different direction because everyone around you has told you that you aren’t good enough. That you are terrible at this. That you should do something else. When there is always some excuse or another for why you can’t have the job you want or the promotion that you deserve.

When you are feeling lost, tossed like a wave on the ocean. When you are starting to wonder, why bother fighting so hard to follow God and His plan? When all your life you have gone to church, volunteered, served the Lord, been a missionary internationally, yet are still wondering, was it all worth it? Why should I continue to do those things when it doesn’t seem to make any difference at all?

You hear that you were recognized by a child in their graduation speech at church.

A child whom you haven’t seen in probably 5+ years.

A child whom you babysat when he was between the ages of 3 and 6 (aka 12-15 years ago).

A child whom since babysitting him, you really hadn’t had any interaction with, except off and on, on the occasional summer or Christmas when you came back from college or living overseas.

A child whose brothers, who are about 4 and 5 years older than him, you spent more time with than with him (chaperoned them on mission trips, counseled at camp then counseled with at camp).

A child whom you really haven’t thought about, as babysitting him at age 6, some 12+ years ago, was the last time you really interacted with him.

I’m speechless. I’m shocked. I can’t stop thinking about it ever since my dad texted me about it last night. It is an honor and a recognition that I don’t deserve. I was barely more than a child myself, considering I started babysitting him and his brothers when I was about 14 years old.

How on earth could I have possibly made such an impact on him as to remember me for all these years?

Who am I that God would have used me in such a way? When I was so broken myself at the time, although nobody but God knew.

I have no explanation, except God.

God is how.

God gave me a talent and an ability from a young age to care for and teach others. He gave me a heart of compassion, even though many circumstances in my life should have left me bitter, angry and hating the world. He kept my heart soft and gave me a heart to serve others, when I couldn’t serve myself. He used it as a way to keep me alive and rescue me, while also being a light in the world for Him.

It may not seem like much, but this has warmed my heart more than I have words for.

A reminder of why I got into teaching in the first place.

A reminder that I want to live for Christ and teach kids.

It’s who I truly am because it’s who God has made me to be.

A reminder that I really needed right about now.

And something I will probably never forget.

But you never know.