(I’ve been told that I need to let people see my brokenness. That they need to see my tears. Well, hear they are. The cries of my heart. The reason why I don’t think people really want to hear my brokenness. Ugly. Out in the open. This is why I have to keep it all together.)
Why do people hate me?
Why am I never good enough?
Why don’t my feelings matter?
What did I ever do to you?
Why is what I do never enough?
Why does no one love me?
Why are my mistakes deal breakers?
Why do people take advantage of me?
Why do they screw me over with no concern for me?
Why do I let them be selfish?
What am I doing wrong?
Why does this keep happening to me?
What am I supposed to do to change it?
Is it me?
Or is it them?
Why am I unlovable?
Why am I unloved?
Why does no one care?
Why don’t they think I exist?
What am I supposed to do?
Will anyone ever love me?
Will anyone ever care?
Will anyone ever treat me as good as I treat them?
Why don’t they see how it breaks my heart?
Why don’t they see that I feel too?
Why can’t they tell that I am putting on a brave face for them?
Why are my efforts unnoticed?
Why am I unnoticed?
Why do I have to scream to get anyone’s attention?
Because I am so smart?
Because I am so talented?
Because I try to help others, regardless of how stressed or tired or broken I am?
Because I always put others first and am not selfish?
What is it?
I just want to be loved.
I just want to be cherished.
I want to be treasured.
I want to be appreciated.
I want to be valued.
I want to be cared for.
I want to be known.
I want to be able to be broken and not rejected for being that way.
I want to be human.
I want it to be okay that I’m human.
Why can’t I have that?
Why won’t people treat me better?
Why don’t they care?
Why?
Just why?
I don’t understand.
Heaven is my Home 