Participation Ribbons

If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will try to jump out because it knows it will die. But, if you put a frog in water and heat the water to a boil, the frog will never notice that it is boiling to death.

We are those frogs. Boiled to death. Oblivious to what is happening until it is too late.

And boy is it too late.

Our children are being inundated.

I bet you haven’t even noticed.

I probably wouldn’t have noticed either, except that I have apent the last 5 years outside the United States.

You might be thinking, what does that have to do with anything?

Well, it means that the only way I watched tv and movies is by streaming with Netflix or Hulu.

And that means the same 5 commercials over and over and over, whether you are watching adult tv shows, kid’s tv shows, or kid’s movies.

The same commercials again and again. Every 3 months or so you might be lucky and get 1 new commercial.

Still you are probably wondering where I am going with this.

Today, I was watching a movie, which happened to be on the Disney channel. And let me tell you.

It was not the same commercial over and over again. In fact, in the 2 hour movie, I don’t think I ever saw a commercial repeated.

But you know what I did see repeated?

Something that I never, ever saw as a child. Something that I honestly never thought would happen to commercials.

No winners.

Compete, but have no winners.

Have fun instead.

Compete, but no winners! What?!?

I am pretty sure that is an oxymoron.

I am pretty sure that is not even possible.

Oh wait, it is! Because we created the participation ribbon.

So everyone can win!

Competing without the stress of losing.

Compete even though you aren’t skilled because it doesn’t matter how you do. Everyone wins!

Don’t worry about trying harder. Don’t worry about practicing and getting better. Don’t worry about making a mistake and then learning from that mistake for next time. Don’t worry because you will get a reward anyway!

Pokemon cards were invented to be won or lost. Race car games are created to win or lose. Board games are created so there is a victor.

You don’t see all Nascar drivers getting a prize. Only the winner gets a prize!

There is only 1 World Cup and the winner gets it. Not everyone who participated!

The Olympics. There is only 1 gold medal in each event. Only 1 person wins! 1 person! Not everyone.

And since I am being controversial, why not make it extremely controversial. War. There is only 1 winner. 1 winner. No ties. No participation ribbons. Only surrender. Only 1 victor. 1. Not everyone.

Not participation.

Winner and loser.

Still struggling with this analogy? Then ponder this.

Would you give ISIS a participation ribbon? Would you stop the war with ISIS because “everyone wins”?

Many of you probably are responding with an emphatic “NO!!”

So then why is it any different with children? Why do we not allow children to win and lose sports games? To win or lose board games with friends? Why can adults win or lose wars, but our children can’t win and lose board games?

Peace? Equality? No hurt feelings?

I am all for peace. I am all for equality. And I am all for not hurting other people’s feelings. And fun! Fun is the main element of all my lessons and experiences that I bring to my students.

I am a preschool teacher for Pete’s sake! That is like all I do, day in and day out. Peace. Equality. Kindness. Sharing. Compassion. Taking turns. Respect. Honesty. Integrity. And this list doesn’t even include the academic topics that I teach, like math, science and language arts.

We need competition. Healthy competition.

Because competition teaches us so many skills. Hard work. Perseverance. Endurance. Creativity. Graciousness. Manners.

Competition in a healthy, nurturing environment can teach just as much as participation ribbons. If you ask me, it can teach way more than participation ribbons ever will be able to!

If you still aren’t sure, here is a simple example. My students love the lawnmower toy that they can push around the playground. There are only 2 and I have 7 students who all adore this toy! They rush outside to try to be the first to get one.

Is this competition? YES!!!

Am I going to buy 5 more lawnmowers so everyone can have one? Absolutely not!

I am going to let my students continue to run outside to be the first one to get the toy. I am going to teach them to share and take turns. I am going to teach them that just because they got there first, doesn’t make the toy theirs. If they put it down, it is fair game for anyone else. The competition resumes until someone else gets it. Competition then pauses until this child is done.

There is a winner: the child who gets the toy.

There is a loser: the child who has to wait for their turn.

That is how the world works. That is how the economy works.

We wouldn’t tell a businessman to give everyone the exact same thing, would we? That would completely defeat the purpose of our entire free market economy!

So why do we tell our children that everyone wins? What purpose does that serve?

None. Because a world like that does not exist.

Our future depends on the children of today.

Our future depends on the children of today being able to navigate in a world where competition reigns supreme.

A world where there are winners and there are losers.

Are you helping to prepare the children of today for the future?

Or are you giving them the allusion that everyone wins in the name of your own agenda?